Shall make a record today.
I woke up with a worse than average dry eyes, dry throat, dry skin to the extent of peeling, dry lips no matter how much water I drunk.
My swollen & painful lymph node (if I did not mistaken what the doc said) at the neck since last thursday is still there. In fact people around me thinks it is getting bigger. Maybe they are wrong? Unfortunately, even the doctor thought it was bigger. LOL!
Spent half of the day wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I really do think I live a very very healthy lifestyle? After which side tracking to thinking if I am to die or be diagnosed with something serious, what should I do? Not forgetting the piles of insurance I just bought but have not gone through yet... Meaning I wun get any money. Lolx. Then having another episode of driving my hormones crazy. Oh and thinking maybe I should go for plastic surgery. At least die like a pretty doll since I have no worth in this world.
So despite the work deadlines, I decided to go visit the doctor in the afternoon before I drive myself crazy. Apparently my dryness is not related to my swollen lymph node. Now to think of it, I think I have been seriously dramatic in the room.
I suppose my swollen lymph node is the doctor's main concern.
Which I really dun know whether if it is a good or a bad news that the doctor still couldnt find any infection in my body or fever. Reason? If I have an infection or fever, that would mean that there is a cause for my swollen lymph node. Which also mean that my body is working normally and I can probably get an MC.
But the doctor is not particularly worried since the swollen lymph node is painful. If it is not painful, then I should worry. Okay... Erm so I should be relieved RIGHT?
Unfortunately, we got really no idea what the hell is wrong with me. So the doctor took down the measurements of the swollen piece of thing at my neck and sent me for a blood test tomorrow since I might not be able to reach the polyclinic by 4pm. (It was 3:30pm)
Wondering what should my next step be and wandering around like a aimless ghost for 10 mins. I decided to cab down and try my luck. I got too much work to waste another day.
Here I have to say that I really appreciate the transportation system here. There are not many places in the world you can go around alone safely, find a cab so fast and easily, (price at that timing and distance quite reasonable also?).
Also I have to say I am impressed with myself for being so independent and manage to settle things by myself today. *Pats self on head*
Anyways I suppose I was really lucky since I managed to rush down for the blood test in time and it was surprisingly fast. But when the nurse handed me the results, she scared me for a moment when she said, "now go see the doctor" Okay I think too much.
After which I cabbed down to the clinic and reached at around 4pm. Everyone is surprised by my efficiency today. That includes me. Woot. Turns out din find anything abnormal with my blood as well. Honestly I cant decide if I should be relieved or not.
So the next two weeks will be my observation period. Blah. If I got a fever or infection that cause this bloody swollen node, then woot my bloody body can predict the future.
If not and it is still as swollen as it is... *TOUCH WOOD* The doctor might have to refer me to a specialist and I might need to remove it in worst case scenario.
Honestly speaking, I am not particularly worried about that swollen painful irritating shit on the neck currently. The inconvenient part will most probably have to be when bathing, applying stuff on my neck and touching it. Opening my mouth too big. Lolx. Or big actions. Or if someone decides to poke it.
Anyways I went back to work right after that. Talk about serious sense of responsibility. But no one appreciates that.
Here comes the saddest part... When the taxi driver said I looked like I am 24 years old. My heart is shattered. My skin and face have deteriorated so much... I am seriously ageing... No more 16 years old? 8 years is added to my age... I decided I need botox and plastic surgery major. Words cant express how depressed I am.
My main concern now is the dryness. My eyes are so dry although I know I shouldnt be using computer right now. Eye drops dun even help. My throat is dry like hell. My skin is like peeling and so easily irritated. My lips. Oh same problem I dun even bother to type about it anymore.
I am honestly so depressed about the skin problems I am having now and the ageing portion. I think I should go for a full body checkup after 2 months, see a dermatologist and dentist. Maybe a plastic surgeon when I save up enough money and courage.
Oh did I mention? I am 70% quite sure that my new computer of around 1 month old is quite dead. The constant crashing and blue screen. But I din even save or do anything much to it yet? The IT jinx in me is still alive apparently.
Thankfully my laptop is working fine. (Oh I did killed it 2 months ago but manage to revive it)
Yoga teacher told us that we can proceed to the next level. (Have been at basic for 3-4 terms Lol and still couldnt remember anything to even practice at home. Core muscles are non-existent as well -_-) It is really something nice to know though. But the timing kindly sucked and I dun know if we can manage it or not. Hahaha.
Okay end of long report. As much as I want to use the remaining time of my life to do more things, my body dun allow me to do so.
I am learning to live and see the world in a positive and different way.
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