Finished Code Geass!

Omg I just finished Code Geass R1 & R2 in a week. Spending any free time I have on my hands.

Now that I finished I feel so depressed and empty.

*Sobs* I haven watched an anime that make me feel "something" for the longest time and make me so absorbed.

Its weird considering that it is an anime that consist 3 things I tend to shun:

1. Mecha / Robots
2. War / Politics / Government / Military
   
3. Brains / Deep
   

So that is probably why I actually dragged this long to actually watch the anime. In fact I think it is a miracle I watched it in the first place. But I am glad since I can watch it all in one goal before I lose steam.

Or maybe its because I have no expectations of it that make me like it? Hmmmm.

Well honestly speaking I probably din really manage to understand all of the parts. *Cough* Coz I am really stupid and my brain shut off when there are so many logic and talking.

There are so many twists and turns in the plot. As much as I would like to type more about it, I couldnt because it is so late now my brain is shutting off.

*Sobs* The last episode really got into me. Maybe I am emotional that it is the last episode.

Now now I better lock up "Otaku Chan" for a while since I have neglected everything but anime watching for the past week.

*"Otaku Chan" is suffering from depression at the moment*

I feel like I cant breathe...

I feel so unwell... Mentally...

Work? What is it again?

The number of times I set my mind to be more involved in work.

I failed the equal number.

I feel really sick, tired, depressed every single time after the failed attempt.

I decided. I will not be bothered by it anymore.

Numbers will just be numbers. Sickening work politics/culture will not affect me. And every thing doesnt concern me.

I will just do what I am given and nothing more. Afterall I din work because I like it. I work just for the money. Because with money I can do lots of things.

You know, I really do want to be someone who can make it big in life, rich, independant, knowledgeable, someone my parents can be proud of, or even someone I myself can be proud of.

But apparently it doesnt seem like I am cut out for it. It can be so fascinating how clueless I still am in life.

That aside, not like I only realised it now. I will still attempt to do more for my life. Because afterall there is no one else you can depend on but yourself.

I hope that tonight will be the last night I will shed work-related tears.

Good bye work. You sucked. Just give me the money.

Day 2

Day 2

And I am already struggling.

Yoga lesson today is hardcore.

Unfortunately never once can I remember any postition to practice at home.

For records:

1. 1 Chapter of the Book. Just to make it sound better but as a matter of fact it is just 8 pages. (-_-)
   
2. 5 Sentences of Jap. Like seriously it is so freaking difficult. I dun think I can finish the book within 3 weeks. Even if I memorise 1 page a day from today.

But I shall excuse myself because I came home late today. *Nod Nod*

Not looking good when it is just the second day.

Also I quarrelled with my sis today. Honestly it can be avoided and it is not even necessary.

But it have been on my mind, I couldnt understand, I am not in a good mood, have been agitated and it was at the tip of my tongue. So I shot it out.

So! I dun know what else to say now and is not advisable to think too hard coz I need to sleep.

Day 1

I cannot live like this any longer. The more I continue at what it is, I will just have more depression/sucidal episodes.

At least that is what I think.

I have to put some effort in my life.

So for my records, today

1. I FINALLY finished studying the basic book which I have been reading since the start of the year. (-_-) I still got the final to go which is like 10 times more difficult. This sucks.
   
2. I read 20 pages of the storybook I owed my younger sister. I only read 20 pages because my england is SHO BADO I have to check the dictionary for meanings and pronunciation like so many times I couldnt even keep track. And I read because I need to improve my wth english so it is necessary.
   
3. I attempted going through some japanese but realised my standard is so shitty I am stuck at memorising just 2 sentences. GG..

At least I tried right? Though it may seems insignificant but I shall believe that it will be beneficial to me.

Also I revived the dead otaku in me by finishing Gakuen Heaven & Kaichou wa Maid Sama. Both I thought I will never touch/finish but in the end they are not bad actually. Especially the later. No plot or whatever but I am a shallow person. Ha.

Motivation and determination to keep it up is what I need.

Now I have to sleep else my face will break out and my liver will suffer. Pathetic.

Must get more shoes

My shoes NEVER match.

HA...
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It feels SOOO GOOD to be home~
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